Hey. 

I miss Richard.  Sure I see him almost everyday, but I miss being close to him.  You know how it is; you're supposed to be friends but now there's this barrier that wasn't there before and it's awkward, no matter how hard you try to get over it.  I miss just being able to stare at him becuase he has those pretty gray eyes, or tease him about the way he sits or how he can go on and on about Teen Titans.  All of that you can't say anymore because it's a part of the past, an intimate past that you can't have anymore.  It's just the space we're supposed to have around each other now.  It never was like that because we jumped into this relationship.  Now what am I supposed to do?

After we first broke up, I wanted to go over there and take it back.  I just wanted to be close to someone.  Then I started thinking about how much we didn't get along.  Those instances outweighed how well we got along and I couldn't.  It wouldn't be fair to myself or Richard, especially Richard.  He might be older, but he's definitely more gentle and sensitive.  He doesn't deserve that.  I just miss him horribly, and those gray eyes that could see through my lies and straight into my soul.